Me: “Hey Galen, can I bring my laundry when I come visit you this weekend so I can do it at your place?”

Galen: “Sure. No problem.”

M: “Okay cool. Do you have detergent? I can bring some if I need to.”

G: “I have detergent.”

M: “Awesome. Do you have dryer sheets?”

G: “No.”

M: “Okay.”

G: “Are those useful?”

I’ve recently started following this blog, and have decided that if my blog ever goes through some sort of reincarnation or my life changes in some huge way (or if I just feel like it), I might make this blog more like that blog. ‘Cause it’s a really neat idea.

Editor’s note: If you are cranky right now and/or don’t want to hear me gush about my fabulous boyfriend and wonderful life, do not read on. Go here instead. (Not that I’m judging you. I’ve totally been there. I just wanted to give you a snarkier option). You’ve been warned.

Last weekend, my cousin Kevin, his wife Jen and their daughter Molly were in town (blog post coming soon). At dinner Saturday night, Kev said that he and Jen like to play this game where they imagine what they would do if they won $50 million (or some other astronomical amount of money). He asked me what I would do. I said I would buy a house in Missoula, buy a cabin at Flathead Lake, buy (or build) a house at Waterton big enough for my whole extended family to stay in, and quit my job. Not because I don’t want to work, but because I’d like to do something different and work less but pesky things like rent, bills, car payments, and health insurance keep me working full time.

Later on, after dinner, I asked Galen what he would do. And you know what he said? He wouldn’t really change a thing. How awesome is that? He is actually so happy with his life that he wouldn’t change anything if he had all the money in the world.

And although I am totally happy with my life, too, and wouldn’t change anything (unless I won $50 million), I still like to dream. So I said, “You wouldn’t even buy a jet to fly back and forth between Umatilla and Portland?” And he smiled.

Yep. Those are a dozen roses. They were delivered to my office today and I took them home because we have a staff retreat tomorrow. I couldn’t stand the idea that they would be at my desk without me there to admire them. The seatbelt worked quite well, I must add.

I was totally blown away by this. Galen and I had talked on the phone last night about how gloomy the weather is these days and how I’ve been feeling a little seasonally-affected. He was very sweet and understanding, as usual. We made plans for this weekend (I’m headed to Umatilla in search of sun and boyfriend) and then we hung up. I never expected anything as amazing as flowers delivered to the office.

After they arrived at my desk, the sun came out.

Just like last year…

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Got an Oregon Drivers License, lived by myself, bought a car (photos coming soon!), successfully navigated a long-distance relationship.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I did pretty well, honestly. And I’m going to try to revive the ones I’ve been slacking on.  I’m also adding one WHOPPER for 2010 – I am going to run a 5 mile race.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! I got two new baby cousins this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. Thank goodness.

5. What countries did you visit?

Just Canada. Wait, does Vegas count as a foreign country?

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Patience.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 20th – Barack Obama’s Inauguration Day (and the day the Kilmorey burned down).

May 9th – Galen took me on our first date.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Living on my own has been very empowering, as silly as that sounds. I always thought I’d hate it, but it’s been pretty nice.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don’t like this question. I failed to pay a couple of bills on time?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing more serious that the Swine Flu, thankfully.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I’m hoping my new(ish) car will fill this role.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

The Blazers.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I’m going to change those words to “disappointed and confused” and say President Obama. Not overall, mind you, but I’m still sort of confused about a few things, like the deployment of so many troops to Afghanistan.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent, car.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Pretty much every time Galen came to visit. And my cousins having babies.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

“Boom Boom Pow” – Black Eyed Peas
“Don’t Trust Me” – 3Oh!3
“Battlefield” – Jordin Sparks
“Poker Face” – Lady Gaga
“I’m Yours” – Jason Mraz
“Love Story” – Taylor Swift
“Single Ladies” – Beyonce

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

happier or sadder? Happier
thinner or fatter? Thinner, I think. Maybe the same.
richer or poorer? About the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d spent more time in Montana.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I’d spent less time worrying about the future.

20. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Yes. :)

21. What was your favorite TV program?

The Daily Show, 30 Rock, So You Think You Can Dance, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Boston Legal (reruns).

22. What was the best book you read?

It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita by Heather Armstrong

23. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Zac Brown Band

24. What did you want and get?

A new job, a new car, A fabulous boyfriend.

25. What did you want and not get?

More sunshine. It’s never enough.

26. What was your favorite film of this year?

Wow, I saw so few (as always). I’m going to have to go with either The Hangover or Bolt. I saw both of them without knowing anything about them, really, so I was pleasantly surprised.

27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 26 and went to one of my favorite bars with almost all of my favorite people in Portland. It was a wonderful reminder that I have friends of all ages from many different areas of my life, and they’re all amazing.  It was also a reminder that tequila shots are never a good idea.

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I’m going to state the obvious here and say that living in the same city as my boyfriend would have made a huge difference.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Jewel tones. And jeans whenever possible. (Damn you, new dress code at work! *Shakes fist*)

30. What kept you sane?

My mom.

31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I’m going to change “fancy” to “admire” and go with Heather Armstrong.

32. What political issue stirred you the most?

Healthcare stirred me so much it left me exhausted and more than a little depressed.

33. Who did you miss?

Galen, my family, my friends who live elsewhere.

34. Who was the best new person you met?

It’s hard to believe I only met Galen in April…

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

I have very high standards when it comes to my close friends. In return, they have my undying loyalty and love.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Now my feet turn the corner back home
Sun turns the evening to rose
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

-Somebody Loved, by The Weepies

Both of my parents have told me independently their theories on why marriage changes a relationship, and the premise is basically the same.  They both believe that everyone has deep-seated ideas of what marriage looks like and no one knows it until those ideas surface in their subconscious and, eventually, their behavior.  Even if you live together before you get married and don’t reorganize your finances… Even if the only things that seem to change are the jewelry on your left hands and maybe her last name… You’re not safe from those repressed ideas bubbling up and taking over.

I call my dad’s theory “The Tapes.”  You know how sports teams watch “tape” of themselves and their opposing teams to learn from their mistakes and look for patterns that they can manipulate?  My dad says that everyone has similar “tape” filed deep in their mind under “marriage.”  So they come home from their honeymoon to the same home they lived in with the same significant other and the same job and the same car, assuming everything is the same.  Then they start using words like “husband” and “wife” and “marriage”… and their mental marriage file is suddenly flung open and the tapes begin to play in the background like an outdoor movie.  The person can continue along with their life pretending they aren’t watching the tape, but they can’t ignore it completely.

Suddenly, the wife gets frustrated with her husband because he isn’t home for dinner every night.  The husband has never been home for dinner every night, so he, in turn, gets angry because his wife isn’t making her (changing) expectations clear.  Then the husband is aggravated because his wife decides to visit a friend who just had a new baby the same weekend he is supposed to attend another friend’s birthday party.  In the past, they would have just done their own things, but now he expects them to go to the party as a couple – a united front.  She thinks it’s clear that she needs to be with the new mom to help around the house, so she is frustrated with her husband’s lack of understanding.

Clearly these are oversimplifications that revolve around stereotypes, but they illustrate the point.

Back when I was single,  I used to console myself by saying that I would make an awesome girlfriend.  I would be the cool chick that all my boyfriend’s friends would want to invite out with them because I didn’t make my boyfriend leave early or stay home with me when I had a headache.  I would be understanding when he wanted to hang out with other people and wouldn’t make him check in with me all the time.  He wouldn’t have to drive me to the airport early in the morning because I’d take the bus instead.  I wouldn’t harp on him for his imperfections or ever try to change him… Because I would be The Perfect Girlfriend.

However, it’s becoming increasingly clear to me that I have “girlfriend” tapes.  Sometimes things come out of my mouth and within nanoseconds I’m doing my damnedest to shove them back down my throat.  Galen will go a few weeks without trimming his beard (NOT a big deal – nor anything that concerns me) and I’ll say something really sweet like, “Haven’t had much time to keep up the beard, huh?”  And then punch myself in the kidney.

Then there was the other day when we were hanging out at my apartment getting ready to go to a party with friends.  He was wearing a hat because it had been raining, but I thought his hair looked particularly good that day.  So, naturally, I said, in my most passive-aggressive voice, “Are… you going to wear that hat to the party?”  Being the incredibly nice person he is, he just looked at me and said, “I don’t know.  Do you think I should?”

I don’t WANT to say these things.  I really don’t.  Nor do I care if he trims his beard or wears a hat…  In no way do those things reflect upon me.  In fact, I don’t really care how he dresses or how often he showers either, as long as he doesn’t smell (I do have SOME standards).  But it feels like there’s something that says to me, “Megan, real girlfriends comment on the things their boyfriends wear in very tactless ways.”  So I do.

I’m hoping this tape doesn’t last too long.

My aunt and uncle sent this article in an email to all our family members on Thanksgiving. I thought it was beautiful.

It got me thinking this weekend about what Thanksgiving is for me. This is the third year in a row (and ever) that I haven’t been with my parents for Thanksgiving. There are lots of reasons for this – all of them related to distance. If it were easier for me to get home, I wouldn’t think twice about it. But spending four flights, two days, and 5 or 6 hundred dollars to only have about 48 hours with my family was getting frustrating. Driving over two mountain passes in the middle of the night isn’t really an option, either. Not in the winter.

So I’ve learned to find other kinds of “family” – usually friends – in Portland to celebrate and feast with. This year, Galen invited me to spend the weekend with his extended family here in Portland. His parents and sister flew in and everyone gathered for dinner Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. They are an incredibly welcoming bunch and I had a great time. His sister also has young kids who are tons of fun, so Galen and I spent a fair amount of our pre- and post- dinner time being silly with them.

And I realized that Thanksgiving is about feeling at home, even if you aren’t. It’s about that warm feeling you get when you go inside someone’s house, where the lights are on and the kitchen is full of commotion, where the people are excited to see you and hug you hello, where someone’s dad wants to talk about the day’s football games and someone’s mom wants to take your coat and put it in the hall closet, and you’re so grateful to be out of the cold and rain.

It’s about being surrounded by people who like you for who you are, even if they don’t know you very well. People who want you to have two desserts and an extra glass of wine. People who will ask what your family is doing today, wherever they may be, and then listen to the answer. People who look you in the eyes when they ask you how you’ve been and want to hear about your day, even if you didn’t get out of your pajamas until after 2:00. And although you may never be completely at ease, since you aren’t at your house, you feel welcomed, you feel the warmth, and you feel at home.

I am thankful for my many homes away from home.

Galen indulged me this evening and we went to ZooLights at the Oregon Zoo, something that I’ve been wanting to do for years but never managed to fit in my holiday schedule. I think we may have been the only group there without young children in tow (we even ran into Galen’s sister and her toddlers), but considering how ridiculously excited I was, it was pretty much like Galen brought his own child.

Here are some of the highlights:

Galen and me in front of a wall of lights:

A hummingbird:

An alligator swimming:

Flying pigs (this was the best shot I could get):

And, of course, Galen laughing maniacally next to a radioactive tree:

Today’s guest blogger is my friend Anne (names have been changed to protect the innocent).  She sent me an absolutely hilarious email the other day with a story from work, so I asked her to tell it to the world, as it were.  If you have ever worked for someone you GREATLY dislike (like we have), then you will probably understand why she and I laughed so hard at this.

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you… Anne.

I work for a small engineering company employing around 40 people. Our CEO is a tall, swarthy European man with a thick accent. He is aggressive and short tempered. My co-workers euphemistically refer to him as “direct” and frequently talk about how “refreshing” it is to be dealt with in such a straightforward manner. I suspect these coworkers have daddy complexes, because I do not find it refreshing to witness my colleagues being berated.

Recently, our CEO was giving a presentation at our all staff meeting when someone asked him a question which prompted him to go looking in “my recent documents.” His computer screen was being projected, and so I could not help but notice that his list of recent documents included several unmistakably pornographic document titles. One was a jpeg file called “cum tits.”

The meeting went on for almost two hours after this and I appeared to be the only person who noticed.  I am pretty sure I turned bright red.  I was struggling to hold it together.

After the meeting, I googled “cum tits” and “aerospace” to see if it is some kind of industry lingo and got no hits. Then again, that would not have explained “pussy party.”

Six months ago today, Galen and I went on our first date. As I mentioned previously, I realize the fact that we have been together 6 months may not sound like anything big to you, but it is to me. And you choose to read my blog. So hmphf.

The Top Five Things I Admire About Galen:

1. His patience. For those of you who aren’t aware, I am the slowest person alive. I can’t leave the house in under ten minutes, even if the clock starts when I’ve already got my shoes and jacket on, with keys, cell phone, and purse in hand. What takes me so long is anyone’s guess. Probably the same thing that makes it hard for me to get out of the car after it’s parked, or makes me late for absolutely everything. I just can’t seem to move any faster. And sometimes, even after all that dawdling, I still manage to do something stupid like leave my straightener on or lock myself out of my apartment. And you know what? He never complains. He just silently walks right to the kitchen window he knows is unlocked and gives me a lift so I can crawl through it to get in.
2. He thinks before he speaks. I joked one time that no matter what you ask him, Galen always hesitates and answers as if he’d never really thought about it before that exact moment. You could say, “Your last name isn’t Jones, is it?” and he would pause, pause, pause, and then say “I don’t think so…” Like he had to make sure. One time I asked him if he wanted to have kids when he grows up (FYI, it was a totally normal thing to ask in the conversation and was NOT attached to ANY strings… NOR was I involved in any sort of entrapment scheme…), and he paused, paused, paused, before saying “Yeah, I think so.” Then our conversation continued and upon further discussion it became apparent that he HAD thought so, perhaps even MULTIPLE TIMES before that moment. This is in stark contrast to my method of answering questions (or statements, for that matter) which involves blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, be it truth, lies, or complete nonsense. ‘Cause it’s a race, obviously.
3. His love for his family. One of my friends at work has the In-Laws From Hell. Her husband moved as far away from them as he could possibly get, and only sees them when absolutely necessary. I always thought this was sort of the ideal situation for someone like me who loves spending time with her family, because then my significant other and I wouldn’t have to battle over holidays and such. However, I’ve realized that Galen values family over just about anything else, and THAT is important to me. He wants to go to his family reunions and family birthday parties and holiday gatherings, and he wants to share them with me. Similarly, when I invited him to come spend time with my family in Montana even though we’d only been dating a couple months, he agreed. Come to think of it, I should start prepping him for Waterton now…
4. He never complains. I mean, like, never. The guy lives in the middle of nowhere and is responsible for covering what amounts to about three full-time positions at work, two of which he didn’t sign up for. He drives to Portland almost every weekend for one thing or another (usually, ahem, me), totaling at least 6 hours in the car per weekend. He lives in a city with a population smaller than the average crowd at a University of Montana football game and he may be the only member of the city’s 24-30 age group who isn’t married or currently serving in the military. And he lives there because it’s the biggest town around – he works in an even SMALLER town a half an hour away. But you know what? He likes the company he works for, he likes being within driving distance of his friends and family, and he says he doesn’t mind all the time alone. Hard to believe he chooses to hang out with me, isn’t it?
5. He had the guts to ask me out in the first place.

Considering I’ve barely mentioned Galen (the new boyfriend) on this blog, I am hesitant to tell the following story, lest you all judge him unfairly. So I am going to preface it with this: Galen is fantastic. He is a wonderful, funny, sweet, good looking and intelligent guy, and I’m very lucky to be dating him.

Now, the story.

Galen lives about 3 hours east of Portland. He and a few of our friends participated in the Hood to Coast race a few weeks ago, which started on a Friday. Since the team had to meet in downtown Portland at 6 AM on said Friday, Galen drove over on Thursday evening and stayed with me that night. Our plan for the morning was that he would get up and take my spare car key, drive my car downtown and park it there. Then I would take the bus downtown (a few hours later) and pick up my car before work.

So, Galen’s alarm went off at 5 AM and I slept as he showered and got ready for the race. Before he left, he asked for directions to Safeway and I told him how to get there and which bridge to take to the west side. He took the spare key, I wished him luck, and he left. I went back to sleep.

Then my phone rang. I saw it was Galen and figured he’d gotten lost on his way to the grocery store.

Megan: “Hello?”
Galen: “Disaster.”
(Pause).
M: “Huh?”
G: “Umm… I broke your key.”
M: “What?”
G: “Well… I put your key in the car door and it wouldn’t turn, but you said it sticks sometimes, so I turned it harder… And it broke off.”
M: “You what? Wait, where are you?”
G: “Right outside your apartment. I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m so sorry… I… I’m going to come upstairs now.”

After I hung up, I tried to process everything that had happened. I was still mostly asleep, though, so nothing was making sense. I went to the front door to meet Galen, who had just come inside.

“Umm,” he said, “It gets worse.”
“What?”
“It’s not your car.”

I stared at him, incredulous, as he explained the situation.

The night before, I had pointed at the street and told him where my car was parked. When he got up in the morning and went outside, it was dark. He went to the place I pointed and found a Nissan, so he tried to unlock the driver’s side door. Then the key broke off and he called me to break the bad news. After he hung up and started walking away to meet me back upstairs, he noticed that the car parked behind the one he was standing next to was ALSO a Nissan. And it was mine. He was standing next to a car that was the wrong color and model, and he had just broken my spare key off in the door.

Back up in my apartment, he asked me if I had any pliers. He wanted to try to pull the small bit of the key out of the door. He kept apologizing and I kept telling him it was totally fine, we would get it all worked out. He left with the pliers and I kept trying to wake up. When he came back, I was expecting more bad news, but he had successfully and easily removed the small bit of key from the OTHER Nissan. I offered to drive him downtown, since I was already up and it was close to 6:00. He was still feeling bad when we got in the car, but after about five minutes of driving in silence, he turned to me and said, “I just broke your spare car key off in SOMEONE ELSE’S car door.” And we both giggled uncontrollably until we got downtown and he got out of the car.